the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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