I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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