I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Randomize
