Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
