butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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