pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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