I look better un-naked...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
then he tried to convert me to islam
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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