the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize