so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
