Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
