Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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