i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
