i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Watching her eat just hurts me
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
