he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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