i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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