I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
