Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
There's always time for handjobs
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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