She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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