I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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