i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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