im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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