She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
