I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
