mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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