Who wears a wallet chain?!
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
