community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
