you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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