how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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