she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
