the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
