and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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