we're blogging at a bar
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
