Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
