Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
