he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
There are leaves in my underwear?
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