oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
