My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Still dying that you shit outside
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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