i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
