when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize