For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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