North Korea, Best Korea!
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
