theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
