The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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