My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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