New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Sext me about skeletons
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
