There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
