i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
