I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
