I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
