I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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