I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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