remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
