I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize
