Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
