You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
