i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
