The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
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