I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
