Apparently you make a good broom.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
