Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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