Don't you send me to vm
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
