I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
