Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
