I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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