There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
