so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
